"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" is a word I have been hearing over and over again from Christian people, most of whom do not know anything about me. This verse, unknown to them, is a verse I hold as a treasure to my heart. It is a verse I hold onto continually.
One reason for that is because I look at my life and see so many dreams that have yet to be fufilled that I have labelled myself "The Queen of Unfulfilled Dreams."
A while ago I heard a testimony of a woman of a large, major ministry say all her dreams had been fulfulled by the time she reached forty. I have a hard time relating to her, for sure!
Mind you, I know the verse "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" is conditional. Real Christianity is not some sort of "visualize hard enough and you will have it" sort of New Age philosophy. One has to 'delight themselves in the Lord.' Then He puts on your heart what is His will!
I feel I have passed the test of delighting myself in the Lord. (Of course, delighting oneself is a joy, not a test.) One thing the Lord has given me out of my times with Him is endurance that what He has put on my heart will come to pass.
However, the devil will come at my from time to time with the "You will never marry or even find the man of your dreams, publish your book, sell your artwork, have any kind of ministry, or travel to the nations, you will just be mopping floors the rest of your life! Look at your life now! You can't even get anybody to read your blog!
(I have just graduated from college, am unemployed in a town full of over-educated people).
However, I am finding the Lord gives me strength to face the devil and his accusations.
I am writing this to encourage those who struggle with unfulfilled dreams, hold on, because you are responsible for the talents God gives you, do not bury them because nothing seems to be opening up for you. Remember God sees.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Saturday, June 4, 2011
The Seer Anointing
About twelve years ago I was involved with an online prophetic ministry which helped me get some training in the prophetic. I actually got to the point where I was invited to the "Advanced Prophetic Rooms" where those supposedly more gifted were invited. Since the churches in my area do not do much training in the prophetic, this was a good chance to stretch and grow in my abilities.
However, the leader of the ministry would not let me lead a prophetic room when I asked her if I could do so, she would only let me lead the "prayer room" as I was told by her that I was not gifted enough in the prophetic to lead a prophetic room. My first response was anger, but I was sensible enough not to take it out on her. When these things happened I would doubt my calling by God to the office of the prophet/prophetess, which has been confirmed numerous times by man. (My calling to this is not general knowledge, however, as most churches in my area do not acknowledge that God could raise up people that way in Ithaca, that is only for the BIG ministries.)
I struggled some more with what I heard from this person, but the Lord kept telling me I needed to forgive, needed to move on, and that my calling was the same, I just needed to step into it.
Just a few days ago the Lord brought me back to what happened twelve years ago and gave me some insight as to what happened. Mind you, I had forgiven this person, the Lord had healed me, and I do not even think about this incident any more.
The Lord showed me in some ways this woman who rejected me was hearing from Him, as the prophetic giftings He had given me were much more visual, and could not be fully expressed in a chat room. Around sixteen years ago the Lord gave me the ability to look into a person's eyes and see things about them and know where they were at spiritually. About a month ago the Lord gave me the opportunity to minister to my college class this way and they were amazed. These people did not even know the Lord!
I believe my calling as an artist also has to do with this, and somehow the "seer anointing" within me will express itself through my artwork. After all, art is a visual medium.
May we overcome the obstacles and minunderstandings that surround us every day and press into the full understanding of our own callings.
However, the leader of the ministry would not let me lead a prophetic room when I asked her if I could do so, she would only let me lead the "prayer room" as I was told by her that I was not gifted enough in the prophetic to lead a prophetic room. My first response was anger, but I was sensible enough not to take it out on her. When these things happened I would doubt my calling by God to the office of the prophet/prophetess, which has been confirmed numerous times by man. (My calling to this is not general knowledge, however, as most churches in my area do not acknowledge that God could raise up people that way in Ithaca, that is only for the BIG ministries.)
I struggled some more with what I heard from this person, but the Lord kept telling me I needed to forgive, needed to move on, and that my calling was the same, I just needed to step into it.
Just a few days ago the Lord brought me back to what happened twelve years ago and gave me some insight as to what happened. Mind you, I had forgiven this person, the Lord had healed me, and I do not even think about this incident any more.
The Lord showed me in some ways this woman who rejected me was hearing from Him, as the prophetic giftings He had given me were much more visual, and could not be fully expressed in a chat room. Around sixteen years ago the Lord gave me the ability to look into a person's eyes and see things about them and know where they were at spiritually. About a month ago the Lord gave me the opportunity to minister to my college class this way and they were amazed. These people did not even know the Lord!
I believe my calling as an artist also has to do with this, and somehow the "seer anointing" within me will express itself through my artwork. After all, art is a visual medium.
May we overcome the obstacles and minunderstandings that surround us every day and press into the full understanding of our own callings.
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